


Saying Goodbye - Spencer Reid

by Sherrykinss



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherrykinss/pseuds/Sherrykinss
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 26





	Saying Goodbye - Spencer Reid

Spencer was the youngest on the team. It was already hard enough to relate to the rest of the older teammates because of his age, his quirky personality didn’t help either. So when a new addition to the team was a recruit somewhat closer to his age, he was hopeful. Now, he never had a great track record with stepping out of his comfort zone and making new friends. However, when she was introduced to the team, he felt a sense of relief. Now it didn’t mean that he would quickly opened up to her, but he didn’t shy away from her. Spencer had enough practice to hide his emotions, keeping his expressions neutrally. Despite his constant control, it didn’t stop the rest of the team, who had a keen eye on behavior, from noticing his subtle change.

Intimidated by the surrounding established team members, she didn’t talk much. In fact, the team saw the similarities between the two youngsters. The difference was that Spencer was familiar with the team members, practically saw them as family. So he was able to comfortably converse with them, unlike the rookie. Somehow, her timidness encouraged him to reach out to her, lend a hand to make her feel comfortable. This didn’t go unnoticed to the team, especially Derek, who would find any chance to tease him.

After a few months, she was a bit more comfortable. She spoke a lot more, even joked around. Despite treating everyone like family, she was noticeably a lot closer to Spencer. They were almost always seen with each other outside of work. She actually grew very fond of his excessive ramblings and explanations. They worked well with each other, and they were great friends. Or so he thought. Hotch had called everyone in early one morning. The break in usual routine put everyone on edge, bracing for what was to come. It wasn’t until he walked in with a tense and stricter face than usual, that they realized it was something serious.

Hotch informed everyone that a team member was transferred out. It didn’t take long for everyone to put two and two together, because there was only one member missing from the conference room. Despite the many questions the team proposed, Hotch gave vague answers. He reminded everyone that it was not his decision and that the information was above his pay grade. None of them liked departures, especially since they’re a close-knit family. Most of them were understanding, except Spencer was the only one who didn’t understand. He couldn’t make sense of the sudden departure. He tried running past instances in his head to piece together some answers, but he couldn’t. There was no indication to her leaving. Not to mention, she never talked to him about it.

“Did she say why?” He asked Hotch. 

Hotch could only shake his head. They told each other everything. Or at least Spencer would like to think so. At first he was just mindlessly swimming in confusion, but eventually that went away. Instead, a surge of anger emerged. He felt betrayed, and subconsciously, it was contributed to the many times he had been left behind. He trusted her and she broke it. And not having an answer only hurt him further.

Saying goodbye had never been easy, which is one of the reasons why she doesn’t try to get attached. Unfortunately, family was her teammates’ style. After so much time with them, she began to see them as family. When it was establish which was her last day, She released a shaky breath as tears well up in her eyes. She tried so hard to hide her sadness, but she didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t her call, she had to go upon being called. It was exhausting having so many different identities. This is the first time she had felt like herself in a long time. They saved her from forgetting who she really was, despite the assigned identity. She was tired of running. This was her last assignment, her last undercover job. This is the last chance she had to erase all the last identity she held in this world.

She was gone for what felt like a year. Once she was cleared of her mission, she requested to be transferred back to the BAU. It felt like home to her. That’s all she wanted. A place to call home. Although the team had welcomed her back with opened arms, there was one person that only lurked in the background. Spencer. She noticed his distant behavior, the lack of eye contact from him. She knew she hurt him, and she had hoped that he would understand. At first she thought he needed time, so she gave him space to readjust. But when it was clear that he wasn’t adjusting, she needed to talk to him.

She waited until the briefing was over to talk to him. She didn’t want to drag the tension out any longer. It would only distract her from the case. “Spence, can we talk?” She cornered him after the others have left. He was reluctant to agree, because he wasn’t ready for the confrontation. “I-I think I should get started with the list.” He said. She sighed and her arm hugged her other arm in defense. “You’re mad.” She said. He snuck a glance of her, before staring back down at the floor. Even though it was a snap second, he caught the sadness in her dark eyes. His lips quirked as he took a moment to gather his thoughts. “You lied to us.” He started off. “I know, you’re upset-” She quickly said. “I am.” He stated. “I understand. I’m sorry.” She apologized. “I thought we were a family. Family don’t just leave without saying goodbye.” He said, slowly taking a strong stance. She bit the inside of her cheek, feeling her eyes well up. “I couldn’t…” She hopelessly whispered. Her nose stung from the surge of tears that threatened to fall. She felt selfish for expecting him to understand, because he had every right to be angry with her.

“You could have just at least sent us a text.” He said. Although he was speaking for the team, she could hear the shift in his tone on the word, ‘us’, as if he was talking about himself. “I know. I’m not good at saying goodbyes.” She explained. He looked up and his fingers started to nervously tap against his thigh. He saw how apologetic she was by the redness of her teary eyes. He was still upset with her, but he didn’t like seeing her this way. “I’m really sorry, Spence.” She apologized again. Unable to hold her tears back, she glanced down to hide them from him. It was time for him to move on, because he had to admit, hearing her call him ‘Spence’ made him feel much better. “Fine, but you have a lot of making up to do.” He crossed his arms. Her eyes snapped up and she quickly wiped her tears away. A small but playful smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Does that mean you’ll forgive me?” She asked. He casually shrugged, prompting her to pull him into a hug. He flinched, unaccustomed to hugs, but eventually returned the hug. “Welcome back.” He whispered.


End file.
